As the long summer holidays approach, many separated parents – particularly mums – start to feel the pressure. Extended time without the usual school routines can be a challenging time for any family, but when you’re co-parenting after a separation or divorce, the stakes often feel even higher.
At Barker Booth & Eastwood Solicitors, we work closely with parents who are doing their best to juggle the emotional, practical, and legal sides of co-parenting. We know it’s not easy, and we’re here to help with straight-talking advice that takes your real-life needs into account.
This blog will help you prepare for the upcoming summer holidays with confidence, clarity, and a strong plan to reduce stress for both you and your children.
Why Planning Ahead Matters
The school holiday can be a wonderful opportunity to spend quality time with your children. But without a clear plan, it can quickly lead to confusion, miscommunication, and even conflict. The key? Preparation and communication.
Planning in advance ensures:
- Your children feel secure knowing where they’ll be and when
- Both parents understand their responsibilities and expectations
- Opportunities for holidays, family visits, or downtime are shared fairly
- Potential areas of disagreement are resolved before they cause problems
The earlier you start planning, the better. And if you’re already in a difficult co-parenting situation or navigating a difficult divorce, don’t worry – it’s never too late to start improving the dynamic.
Understanding What’s Best for the Children
The heart of any family issue is always what’s best for the children. They thrive when they know what’s happening, feel safe and loved by both parents, and are shielded from adult conflict.
Children also benefit from having meaningful time with both parents. If your child spends the majority of the school year with one parent, the summer holidays might be a chance for the other parent to enjoy longer stretches of time with them.
That said, “what’s best” looks different for every family. Some children love the adventure of two different households. Others need stability and routine. Trust your instincts – and communicate openly with your ex-partner wherever possible.
Top Tips for Co-Parenting Over the Summer Holidays
Whether your relationship with your ex is amicable, strained, or somewhere in between, here are our top tips to help you both put the children first and avoid unnecessary stress:
- Plan Early – and in Writing
Start discussing summer arrangements as early as possible. Agree on who will have the children and when, and confirm everything in writing – whether that’s by email, text, or using a co-parenting app. This helps avoid any confusion or last-minute changes.
- Discuss Holidays Abroad or UK Breaks
If either parent is planning to take the children abroad, make sure this is discussed and agreed upon well in advance. You’ll usually need written consent from the other parent if you share parental responsibility. Even UK breaks should be shared, especially if they affect handovers or contact time.
- Put the Children First
Try to see things from your child’s perspective. They may be excited, nervous, or unsure about the break. Talk to them about what’s happening and reassure them that both parents are working together to make it fun and stress-free.
- Be Flexible Where You Can
Life doesn’t always go to plan – especially with summer events, work commitments, or travel disruptions. If the other parent needs to swap a day or change an arrangement, try to be understanding (within reason). It sets a good tone and helps if you ever need a favour in return.
- Keep Communication Civil and Focused
You don’t have to be best friends, but civil, child-focused communication is key. Stick to the topic at hand, avoid emotional language, and stay solution oriented. Keep conversations about the children, not the past.
- Use Co-Parenting Tools
Apps like OurFamilyWizard, Cozi, or Talking Parents can help you coordinate calendars, expenses, and messages without the stress of endless WhatsApp threads.
- Listen to Your Child’s Voice
As children get older, their preferences matter more. Try to involve them in plans (age-appropriately) and be willing to adapt if they’re not happy with an arrangement.
- Look After Yourself, Too
The summer break can be emotionally and physically draining. Make sure you carve out time for rest, support, and doing things you enjoy – whether your children are with you or not. This is especially important if this will be the first time your children have been away without you.
When Co-Parenting Breaks Down
Unfortunately, even with the best intentions, communication can break down. If you find yourself stuck, a family solicitor can help you resolve things through negotiation, mediation, or if necessary, formal arrangements.
You may want to consider a Child Arrangements Order if:
- You can’t agree on who the children will stay with
- One parent is refusing reasonable contact
- Travel or holidays are becoming a regular source of conflict
We always aim to resolve matters amicably and without going to court if possible. Our team will listen, advise, and support you every step of the way.
Final Thoughts: A Summer to Remember – for the Right Reasons
The school holidays don’t have to be a battleground. With a little forward-thinking, a calm approach, and child-centred planning, you and your ex can give your children the kind of summer they’ll look back on with happy memories.
At Barker Booth & Eastwood, we’re not just here when things go wrong – we’re here to help you get things right. If you’re navigating co-parenting and need support, legal guidance, or just a friendly, professional ear, get in touch with our Family Law team.
We’ll always give you honest advice, with your family’s best interests at heart.
Need to speak to someone? Call us on 01253 362500, email info@bbelaw.co.uk or complete the handy contact form on our website.
